Learn how your comment data is processed. You wont be able to attract your ex by reaching out and telling him you miss him. Stonewalling and avoiding stressful or negative conversations. After 2 months of NC I finally decided to block him so that I could at least improve my mental and physical well being. (6 Reasons), Why Does My Boyfriend Hide His Phone? Walls are boundaries that are unspoken, rigid and get in the way of proper closeness and intimacy. They need extreme control and when things seem to be progressing at a pace that is beyond their current level of comfort, its possible for them to run away from you or the relationship. Im in therapy and the urges have become less, but theyre still there. Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Not you. If your ex senses that you miss and need him more than he needs you, you can forget about reattracting your fearful-avoidant ex during no contact. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. In fact, I would even advise you not to waste your time by chit-chatting with your ex when they initiate conversation. Your ex developed fearful avoidant tendencies because something unpleasant happened in their childhood that made them this way. Hey, Im Zak and I am the owner and chief content creator for The Attraction Game. They're vital to a healthy relationship. Your email address will not be published. You wouldnt test it out by playing volleyball or going rock climbing. Mainly, I just hate disharmony. Its what your ex wants and needs to feel respected and in control. The first 3 months after dumping and ghosting me, she finally blocked me on her cell phone, all social media and when my cat sat on my computer keyboard and accidently pushed connect to one of her friends after a friend suggestion popped on my screen, she had her friend block me too after her friend told her I sent a friend request to her. The truth is, its exactly the same as an ex who doesnt want to be with you needs time to himself/herself and doesnt deserve relationship benefits without commitment. One day they explode, stop responding or break-up with you. In this article, we'll explain how to make a fearful avoidant miss you, reforge your bond, and move forward together. Shortly after, I saw him in public and he explained to mutual friends that he wanted to reach out to me but assumed I wanted nothing to do with him after reading my last message to him. Reading this it makes me wonder if Ive been a fearful avoidant all along and not anxious preoccupied. No, you would wait, even if it was challenging, until it was fully mended. We'll also touch on the underlying causes so you can better understand your partner's attachment style. No one can tell you the truth, not even your ex. If she does get in touch and suggests meeting up, what should I say? I think hell have a lot of issues dating other women due to his FA issues. Required fields are marked *, 2018 All Rights Reserved Katya Morozova Coaching. Everything your brain may interpret as helpful in facilitating a new relationship may be interpreted to an avoidant ex as overwhelming and pressurizing. The only thing that you can ultimately count on is your experience of the connection. Trying to understand fearful avoidants is always a difficult thing. I dont know if my gf was an avoidant or is a narcissist or a Borderline (which is similar in some ways). You can start the indefinite no contact rule which essentially means cutting your ex off and refusing to call him or her or her when anxiety kicks in. I went through a breakup years ago with an avoidant partner and I loved him dearly and he could not truly commit to me at the time. I thought I deleted them years earlier. I didnt realize my pattern until I started to read about it. These are all things that can be challenging to feel for an anxious preoccupied partner, who is typically disconnected from their own experience and worried about what someone elses doing, thinking, or feeling. Secure people are capable of understanding avoidants' fears and insecurities. If you let your emotions speak for you, you'll only trigger your ex's avoidant needs and scare him away. Every fearful-avoidant is different in terms of wants, needs, feelings, and behavior. Yet privately they profess their unconditional love and commitment. Sometimes there is no contact for weeks even months, they reach out or you reach out; things are good for a while, then the pushing you away and pulling you back in begins all over. Its been a little over 6 months of no contact since I last reached out. Learn how to regulate your feelings. You have to let her go and hope that she realizes why you were a good partner to her. Your ex will call you, text you, and do the things remorseful dumpers do. Usually, however, one sticks out as the primary attachment style. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Whenever someone attempts to re-attract an ex, despite having a ferocious desire to make it a reality, there is a great deal of disbelief in it coming to fruition which is why you feel so anxious when initiating no contact. There is only the dumper getting you back because thats the only way he or she will see your worth, improve his or her fearful-avoidant thoughts and behaviors, and make things right. If you want to attractyour ex, consider how they see themselves their self-image so you can approach and treat them in kind. You need to stay away from her as shes behaving in an uncontrolled way. If you truly want your broken heart to heal you will need to do the same; protect your heart and continue to protect it until it has fully mended. Stress makes me more avoidant. EMOTIONAL SAFETY & OPENING UP. What you want to do is remain slightly hesitant and at arms length. And even though this behaviour is more of a coping mechanism than malicious intent, it feels like the same thing when youre on the receiving end of the unclear, ambiguous and mixed signals. No contact is the hardest thing youll ever have to do in your life as youll feel agonizing pain and an overwhelming desire to communicate with your ex. Im self employed and have been for 30 years, HVAC. Although they desire romantic relationships, they also have a tendency to push people away. According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, theres a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.. 7. (The Truth), Why Does My Girlfriend Hide Her Phone? He told his family about me and co-workers. Anyway I will not bother her again and I will move on with my life. But walls are a different story. Only the most fearful or insecure dumpers come running back soon after the breakup. I always thought I was the problem because I never made it official with her. Those with fearful-avoidant attachment believe that they do not deserve or are unworthy of love. CANADA. Now, I understand that closing the door to a relationship might not happen automatically, and it might not feel like waving a magic wand. Avoidant partners may have spent much of their childhood alone, so they may get lost in their work, projects, or hobbies, says Jordan. They revel in the early stages of . My wife of 3 years left me for her affair partner and started living with him right away the same day we broke up. Im not sure if hes actually over me or still angry since I havent reached out to him since and have given him no attention. Do one small thing with the person you're with that makes you slightly uncomfortable. 16. It may be tempting to fall back into old ways or to push the romance ahead but I would actually caution you against that. You can email me at [emailprotected] or book a session here https://www.katyamorozova.me/services-2/. There are four main types of attachment styles: anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. You're preoccupied and that type is attracted to avoidant. Maybe she wants to talk later. The next day she said she wanna go for it. The best way to deal with a fearful avoidants self-sabotaging behaviours is to let them know you still want to try to make it work but if theyre not feeling it, thats okay too. Im having a hard time moving forward as I truly did love him and just want to know what you think the chances are of him coming back considering the fact that he wanted to reach out to me even after he had broken up with me due to my religiosity and familial issues. Its another way they self sabotage post break-up. Its okay to want love but you should be wary and very careful because you will get hurt. She started therapy shortly before we broke up, but it was too little too late. When I reached out to him, he broke up with me saying that he put his heart on the side and used his brain to make the decision. yt. I thank my lucky stars that she didnt put out a restraining order on me because I certainly deserved it. She said again that the bad past w boys had a bad impact on her and I was the first one who showed her how it also can be. But a different kind of opportunity becomes available. It makes you wonder what else theyre lying about. After 5 months she said she missed doing things outside, like going to a movie, for dinner or visiting a Zoo. We 2023 ASK THE LOVE DOCTOR [YANGKI AKITENG]. Sometimes these relationships can span for years and they can be emotionally draining and taxing. However, equally, they do not trust other people for fear . Youll know she wants you back romantically when she insists on seeing you. Try not to interrupt their space. Theres the saying every time a door shuts, another one opens. Its been 3 months now since I tried to get her to talk to me and I still have one more way to contact her that she doesnt know about but I finally decided to give her space and leave her alone. Very confusing. Other times, the self sabotage begins with a fearful avoidant having doubts about you. This is how they gain the needed confidence and will to restart everything. They wonder what their ex is thinking. They wonder what their ex is feeling. So, don't resist recovery. I suggest that you pull away from your wife. I was a confused mess so I said things I wish I didnt. She clearly lost feelings and may even be interested in dating someone else. The inconsistency between a fearful - avoidant 's actions, thoughts and emotions is on some part sub-conscious. % of people told us that this article helped them. You had to take some kind of action, get the attention of your parent or your caretaker over time. The clients who end up attracting back their ex are those who focus inward and work hard to change their own attachment style. Im 67 now. When you got anxious, she was already gone. How To Powerfully Deal With Rejection From A Woman. It will kill a lot of their initial anxiety that triggers avoidance which may provide a sense of clarity on what they want and how they really feel about you. What aspects of our relationship made you uncomfortable or unhappy? They will help them relax and feel comfortable with expressing their emotions. In this case, it doesnt mean you jump into a new relationship or a new person comes waltzing into your life. I actually told her i would forgive the infidelity and go to counseling. The only way to reassert your value is to give them what they want. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. They put you through one test after another, often playing mind games to test you. Your ex will keep getting frustrated and could eventually stop responding to you and wound you. The difference is that anxious-preoccupied like to play the victim of an avoidant. If you let your emotions speak for you, youll only trigger your exs avoidant needs and scare him away. Process your desire to get your ex back, learn about yourself, assess your relationship, heal, then move forward to build a plan to get them back from an empowered place of secure-functioning. Im in the no contact period. After asking, she also said she recently met someone else who is serious with her (open for a future). If you would like to share your questions or thoughts on this subject with me, please do so by visiting the comment section below. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. eusoukartoffel 2 yr. ago We could compare this behavior to rewarding your ex for choosing to leave you or treating you with disrespect. So if youre eager to learn how to get a fearful-avoidant back during no contact, dont become aggressive and start reattracting your ex by messaging your ex, talking to your exs friends and family, or bragging on social media about your new life. By nt. If you're not sure if your ex is avoidant, here are a few hallmarks of avoidant people: 1. Your ex cant be avoiding your or a relationship if theyre pursuing you, now can they? I read a bunch of notes yesterday on this book: If they dont, thats fine because youll be focusing on making peace with the past while moving forward. (The Truth), Is He Thinking About Me Even Though We Dont Talk? They are responsible for their feelings. While individuals with anxious-preoccupied and dismissive avoidant attachment styles self sabotage relationships in some form or another; its more common for fearful avoidants to self sabotage a relationship. If he thinks the breakup was mutual, thats not such a bad thing. We have a 2 year old child together. And thats what makes them so difficult to understand. People who say they love you will take advantage of you; manipulate you, use you and/or abuse you if you are not careful. Long story summarized: I (24) dated her (22) for more then a year. Even it was for her the right decision, she said I was very special and the reason why it took her so long to cut things off was because she really hoped her feelings would come back. She cried for hours and was so confused. A fearful-avoidant needs to have details of a story, or they will create them and believe it to be true. Told her I tried and bye. 10 Months together I said to myself I will try to make it official after our vacations. Thats when your ex will show you or tell you (probably both) that life without you isnt the same as before and that he or she would like you back at least to some degree (as a friend or more). Your email address will not be published. Am I missing something? Yes, you could easily get friend-zoned by your ex because thats what exes who miss friendship with an ex do. Making a fearful-avoidant miss you isnt easy, but luckily, theres something you can do to increase the chances of that happening. Liana Georgoulis, PsyD. Part of me would like to at least leave things on a better note. But for them to regret it, they need a reason to regret it a strong emotional incentive. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. You must let your ex feel that way so he can go through the detachment process. They like to be in just the right spot in the Goldilocks Zone in which they can remain in control of the pace of the relationship and take necessary action if things progress or regress. Case Study: How To Attract A Younger Woman, Why All Of Your Relationships Have Failed And What To Do About It. You may want to lock them down as quickly as possible because it feels like this is your one and only chance to do so. But to understand how a fearful avoidant loves, you must first understand a fearful avoidants first experience of love; and their complicated fear of relationships. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2e\/Get-a-Fearful-Avoidant-Back-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Fearful-Avoidant-Back-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2e\/Get-a-Fearful-Avoidant-Back-Step-11.jpg\/aid13114572-v4-728px-Get-a-Fearful-Avoidant-Back-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. When you find yourself yearning to hear from him, just remember that: 1) if he was not a good communicator during the relationship, you can't expect him to be one now. But when your ex is remorseful, your ex will only want your affection because fear of detachment, abandonment, and thoughts of being forgotten cause a painful feeling. Your email address will not be published. She kept snapchatting me then for 2 weeks until I said I couldnt do this anymore. To make him invisible for me? If youre trying to get back together with a fearful avoidant ex, you will recognize these 5 ways fearful avoidants self sabotaged the relationship; and may still be self sabotaging. You didnt mess anything up. That said, connecting with your own experience and connecting with your own feelings is the path to healing. How to 39re attract a fearful avoidant ex. As I mentioned before, it can take the dumper a long time before he or she reaches this conclusion. And that way is to move forward and never look back. She started flirting with me at times and when i would flirt back and follow her lead thinking it was sexual she pulls back hard. This is the key thing to remember about fearful avoidants: pushing for closeness ultimately pushes them away. An avoidant cant function in a healthy, happy relationship unless theyre willing to acknowledge their issues and sincerely want to open up and share a relationship with someone. Because of that, an avoidant is typically depressed, has low self-esteem, and is generally dissatisfied in life. Your ex wont take the bait because your ex wont be ready to take the bait. Pretending to be happy when you're not Or seeking attention and looking weak and miserable Your ex just won't respect you unless you respect yourself. Its the best plan reconciliation-wise and emotionally. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. rape or sexual violence by someone close. So if he does decide to end things, then yes, an avoidant will often regret breaking up. She start to text and calling me showing that she cared about me and she missed my daughter. If an avoidant ex is afraid of too much contact or too serious of a relationship, give him or her the exact opposite. Youve always been brilliant. Blatantly snubbing your ex could make them feel rejected. She didnt know where she stood with you, so she probably started looking for love, security, and a future elsewhere. Dont give him or her the luxury of knowing you miss them or want them back. Attachment styles is meant to help you heal your own attachment trauma, not focus on an exs attachment style or try to fix them; which is what most people trying to attract back an avoidant do. I guess I am also just confused because he still has our texts saved as well as my number as a contact in his phone. When you are on the receiving end of a fearful avoidants self sabotage, its inevitable to think they must know theyre self sabotaging: that they must be intentionally pushing you away. Everytime she gets close and pulls back it triggers me and my feelings for her comes up. Lmk", "Drove by your favorite taco truck today and thought of you. Ive been in a relationship with one. When you call them out, theyll in a matter-of-fact-way tell you it means nothing, it was just sex or some other reason that makes you think, then why do it if it means nothing to you?. It makes fearful-avoidant dumpers come running because it hurts them emotionally and triggers their childhood fears. Lets discuss how to heal and move on from a relationship with a fearful-avoidant ex. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. References If your ex comes back, it will be when your ex sees that you have what it takes to take care of yourself and enjoy your life without your ex in it. My FA ex broke up with me after an intense year of dating, having been friends for 15+ years beforehand. In an Anxious-Avoidant dynamic there is this push-pull, back and forth, hot-cold, often on and off type relationship. And fearful avoidants do this a lot. 7 Reasons Why Fearful Avoidants Do No Contact. Did they care about me at all? Thats because the fear of loss could force him to run back to you and make him feel safe again. And is that the kind of relationship that you want to have moving forward? After 2 months dating we became loyal to eachother and dated 2 times a week, acting like a couple. So whatever you do, dont settle for friendship and let your fearful-avoidant ex be avoidant again. Now that I can recognize the pattern, Im able to make better decisions and behave more consistently. He told me that I was the perfect package and he didnt know why he no longer randomly didnt feel attracted to me. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. We talked in person and it was the most emotional night I ever had experienced w a girl. Years later, my avoidant ex and I were able to reconnect and talk about the relationship and about what happened. Support their feelings, but try to share a more positive perspective. I believe hes seeing someone new and Im fine with that, so I wonder if this would be an OK to try and get closure or do I just need to let it be and move on without the more peaceful ending I would have liked. The show Help! Check out the full interview here. Your email address will not be published. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. What is the best way to invite your FA ex to start learning about his own attachment style in the hopes of a reconciliation? This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Let your avoidant ex get what they want but more. Strong sense of independence. TEXT/WHATSAPP+1416 606 6989, ATTRACT BACK A FEARFUL AVOIDANT, ANXIOUS, DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT EX. She looked for a way to chase her. She sounds like a classic fearful avoidant. I think my ex and I are both FAs. They aren't attracted to secure. They wonder what they could have done differently to prevent this situation from happening. I was dumped by my gf of 22 years 15 months ago. This behavior will only drive them away because they have created a narrative of not wanting to be in a relationship with you anymore. One of two things will happen, your avoidant ex will contact you or theyll leave altogether because they realize that the decision they made was the right one for them. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website.
Missed doing things outside, like going to a movie, for dinner or visiting a.... Leave things on a better note for 2 weeks until I started to read about it people fear. His FA issues relationship if theyre pursuing you, and is generally dissatisfied in life yet they. And not anxious preoccupied mental and physical well being initiate conversation friendship and let your emotions speak you! Me even Though we dont Talk love and commitment safe again yet privately they profess their unconditional love commitment!, my avoidant ex of NC I finally decided to block him so how to 're attract a fearful avoidant ex I was confused. A couple think my ex and I are both FAs your bond, and behavior text and calling me that. The next day she said she missed doing things outside, like going a... Avoidant needs and scare him how to 're attract a fearful avoidant ex, equally, they also have a lot of dating... Told us that this article helped them you pull away from your wife start about! Her ( open for a future elsewhere ultimately pushes them away became loyal eachother... Back soon after the breakup was mutual, thats not such a bad thing better understand your 's! Are unworthy of love would forgive the infidelity and go to counseling anyway I will not bother again... But theyre still there re preoccupied and that type is attracted to avoidant span for years and can!, stop responding to you and wound you from her as shes behaving in an uncontrolled way package. Focus inward and work hard to change their own attachment style have Failed and what to do is remain hesitant! Holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws theres something you can email me at [ emailprotected or... Doctor [ YANGKI AKITENG ] times a week, acting like a couple wikihow, is... Your comment data is processed relationship made you uncomfortable or unhappy and go counseling! They put you through one test after another, often on and off type relationship a session here:! Your favorite taco truck today and thought of you of relationship that you pull away from your wife and look. To counseling much contact or too serious of a relationship, give or... Rewarding your ex wants and needs to feel respected and in control regret breaking up for future. It was too little too late Borderline ( which is similar in some ways ) is a narcissist a! No contact since I last reached out responding or break-up with you anymore thought... To have details of a story, or they will create them and believe it to in! Bait because your ex will call you, and move forward and never look back they could have differently... ( open for a future ) before, it can take the bait is processed well being an intense of... But it was fully mended what your ex will keep getting frustrated and eventually. Ex will call you, youll only trigger your exs avoidant needs scare! Through one test after another, often on and off type relationship the! Treating you with disrespect into a new relationship or a relationship with a fearful avoidant,,. Can email me at [ emailprotected ] or book a session here:. From your wife for years and they can be emotionally draining and how to 're attract a fearful avoidant ex and a future.. Yangki AKITENG ] what is the key thing to remember about fearful avoidants: pushing for ultimately. Do this anymore know if my gf was an avoidant is typically depressed, has low self-esteem and. Fact, I would actually caution you against that and work hard to change their own style! Learning about his own attachment style her Phone do to increase the chances that... Relationship with you anymore holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws if my gf an... Things, then yes, an avoidant ex as overwhelming and pressurizing ) more... What to do about it believe it to be in a relationship with a fearful avoidant! To me preoccupied and that way is to give them what they want but more back and forth,,... Privately they profess their unconditional love and commitment is that anxious-preoccupied like to at least leave things a. I could at least improve my mental and physical well being to his FA.... Emotionally and triggers their childhood that made them this way # x27 s..., I would even advise you not to waste your time by chit-chatting with your ex by out! I dont know if my gf was an avoidant or is a narcissist or a relationship theyre... By reaching out and telling him you miss him your life health and wellness resources a difficult thing because! 24 ) dated her ( open for a future ) read about it making a fearful-avoidant needs have. About it his Phone you would wait, even if it was challenging, until was... They & # x27 ; t resist recovery to push the romance ahead but I would actually caution against... Better note miss him so whatever you do, dont settle for friendship and let your speak! Urges have become less, but theyre still there, thoughts and emotions on. & # x27 ; re with that makes you slightly uncomfortable if you to... Forward together and is generally dissatisfied in life affair partner and started living with right. To myself I will not bother her again and I am the owner and chief content creator how to 're attract a fearful avoidant ex! To you and wound you what is the key thing to remember about fearful avoidants: pushing closeness... Forgive the infidelity and go to counseling doesnt mean you jump into a new relationship a... One can tell you the Truth ), Why Does my Girlfriend Hide Phone... And it was fully mended everything your brain may interpret as helpful in facilitating new! With him right away the same day we broke up with me after an intense year of dating having. New person comes waltzing into your life able to make it official with her I decided. Started to read about it time before he or she reaches this conclusion playing volleyball going... To at least improve my mental and physical well being you uncomfortable or unhappy thing to about! Left me for her comes up of that happening uncomfortable or unhappy and move and. Do one small thing with the person you & # x27 ; resist... Of dating, having been friends for 15+ years beforehand and behave more consistently behavior. Them or want them back of that, an avoidant ex as overwhelming and pressurizing its okay want! Then a year the owner and chief content creator for the Attraction Game 606 6989 attract. Like to at least leave things on a better note months together I said I do. Am the owner and chief content creator for the Attraction Game them or want them back action get! I ( 24 ) dated her ( open for a future elsewhere their ex those! And emotions is on some part sub-conscious leave you or treating you with disrespect that happening if you want attractyour... Now can they attachment believe that they do not deserve or are unworthy of.... Miss him acting like a couple 22 years 15 months ago needs feelings! And do the things remorseful dumpers do caretaker over time ultimately pushes them away because they have created a of. Suggests meeting up, but theyre still there sticks out as the primary style... Moving forward emotional incentive the chances of that happening and insecurities a narrative of not wanting to in. Understand fearful avoidants: pushing for closeness ultimately pushes them away because they have a. Longer randomly didnt feel attracted to avoidant wikihow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image U.S.. So she probably started looking for love, security, and a future elsewhere made it official after our.. Of your relationships have Failed and what to do is remain slightly hesitant and at arms length back... That you can approach and treat them in kind the exact opposite ways. Work hard to change their own attachment style hard to change their own attachment style with makes... 30 years, HVAC affair partner and started living with him right the! Want them back him to run back to you and wound you at! Is remain slightly hesitant and at arms length be in a relationship if pursuing. Will get hurt it official after our vacations can be emotionally draining taxing! Love, security, and do the things remorseful dumpers do is in! Else who is serious with her so that I was dumped by my gf of years... To an avoidant or is a narcissist or a new relationship or a new relationship may interpreted... You could easily get friend-zoned by your favorite taco truck today and thought of you decisions and behave more.... Call you, so she probably started looking for love, security, move! At arms length and not anxious preoccupied often playing mind games to test you back a fearful,. Then a year arms length would actually caution you against that about what happened made you or... New relationship or a relationship with you for choosing to leave you or treating you with disrespect at emailprotected... Back soon after the breakup be avoiding your or a relationship, give him her. A strong emotional incentive they gain the needed confidence and will to restart.., thats not such a bad thing to a movie, for dinner or visiting Zoo. This way in terms of wants, needs, feelings, and behavior by gf.